Friday, November 28, 2008

hello world! havent been blogging as often these few days missed me? haha! guess not since anyone hardly reads my blog. =P silly me!

Been a little occupied. Going out and coming back late and sleeping like a log right after having a bath.

Sch's fine i guess. For us guys, i'm sure we all are just hoping to end the course asap and going into ns so we can be over and done with it. With 3 pjts on my list to check off rite nw it's a little stressful. Just yesterday, relan said something which really got my attention and got me thinking. "These days you aren't yourself anymore".

I really don't know who i am or who i was anymore. The way i should act, the way i would act. I'm just walking on uneven grounds now, step by step. I'm LOST! =(

i'm really trying to be happy, but it's hard. sure envy ppl who just are.

But i guess he's right, these few days i haven't been gaming as much and i'm really stressing on my pjts and studies as it's the last sem. I can't remember when the last time i was so concerned abt my studies.. guess i was N'levels? haha..

i'm trying to keep my smile alive, just trying to be a better man. But before that i guess i have to learn how to stop giving up so easily.. =/

gd nites world. shall stop here.. Adieu.

Monday, November 24, 2008

hey world, gd morning! ok so that was one of the longest sleep i have ever had since last yr. 10 ~ 11 hrs i guess lol. i was so tired i lay flat on the bed w/o my blanket. lol.... having a cold nw. Dang.

Sleep was good. wished i could just sleep even more.. guess my body finally wants to rest. But i have to get ready and go to cmpb now. =(

oks i'll see what time my medical ends. Cause we have the ever so sian CS class ltr in the late afternoon. Cant miss it if nt my gpa will drop due to the importance of prac. lol.

ciao world! hey world! back here for awhile.. superrrrrr tired but cant get to slp rite nw.. lay in bed like a corpse but still couldnt slp.

Think my body's throwing a tantrum rite nw. tired but nt going to slp. wells gonna just blog abit and see what else i can do to tire myself out completely.

today sch was kinda fun! well leaving out the fact that i was slpy , lecture was boring as usual.. and having to do a new web project again. Well duing PE or should i say SW, played abit of bball with the goup till teacher came and we did the SW theory test.

After that was badminton with winton, yu xiang & the gals. Yoke ling, song ling and Yvonne. =) Was fun. well with winston being the joker. SMK ah.

k lah.. cant think of much to say rite nw. brain dead.

Gd nites world! maynt be going sch tml.. got cmpb to go to.. damn check up.. lol.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Ok! i managed to wake up today without using my bleach alarm. lol. forgot to set it last nite. came home aft work and it was about 12 plus. took a quick shower and knocked out. zzz.. and now i'm up.

Yesterday, Glen Ong from class 95 radio came to our shop. He was suprisingly friendly. But i guess i still dun really like him. None of us part timers went to serve him and issac our in-charge went to serve him & he sold a pair of m1010 to him. Just to anyone who's interested, Glen Ong has a bad case of Flat foot!

okies i just got out of the bath and here i am blogging. lol, what has gotten into me i do not knw. Just felt like blogging. Alrites. I need to put on some clothes and fly to work. Long journey to Jurong East. ~.~

Later world! =)

Friday, November 21, 2008

Today is going down as a memorable day in my life! I PASSED MY FTT in ONE try!!!

Before taking the test, bumped into Jian wen & Boon siang right at the entrance. Jian wen was waiting for his instructor for his practical lesson. So qiao to bump into them. haha..

I honestly didn't study at all! It was all thanks to the 3 sessions of E-trials i took just before my FTT. Was really stressed throughout the whole process. Didn't see the questions before and racked my brains to think of a logical way to answer the questions! Not to mention i was so stressed i was taking it out on the screen! lol. Till the supervisor came and told me " Gentleman, please tap the screen lightly with the stylus gently." and the second time, "Gentleman, i already told you to hold the stylus 45 degrees to the screen and tap gently! Tapping harder wont make the page load faster!" =.=" i was thinking at that time, "I KNOW!"

YadaYada Yada!

erhem! and well that was for the first two sessions of my E-trial tests. Well good riddance to him! and YAY! to Passing! Glad that's all over now! got my PDL a month back, so might think of getting a private instructor to teach me hw to drive. All that's left standing in the way is practical lessons, Practical test TP & i should be done! =) i think. lol

After my test, Called mom & Dad and they came to pick me up from Ubi CDC to go out and celebrate! Like we did when i passed my BTT. Ate a seafood 21 near our place, just behind Kovan, Heartland Mall. well sorta! Ate a big spread! shared yangzhou fried rice, Sweet sour fish!, sweet sour pork, mushroom kailan and mom took out her rojak she bought earlier and mixed it with hers and dad's food. lol! feel kinda bad for the ppl working there cause the plates seemed very oily from the rojak they brought.

During the "Feast!" wing & huishan called me to go out. Told them i'd call them back aft my meal and i agreed to go out. Half way down when i was at ps, i gt a call from relan and he asked me to go out.

Just wanna say, really sorry wing and huishan! sorry for not keeping my appointment with u 2. At least i wasnt a bright lightbulb today? haha.. ok its a bad joke.. Will make up for it when we go out k? hopefully soon! My treat! =) promise!

Killed some time with relan till 10pm where we metup with shi ting to watch "Beverley Hills Chihuahua." well being the usual me, i was a light bulb but thank god i wasnt taht bright. They were themselves and i didnt seem to exist in the cinema when the movie was on! phew! haha. We gt a coupleseat + 1 seat near the walkway.

The movie was hillarious and the whole cinema laughed! though there were times i was laughing alone to some things i think most ppl didnt get.. lol. Felt a little out of place but what the hecks? haha.

The movie ended at 1 and we walked down to selegie and dad came to pick us up. Along the way he dropped them off at his mom's across the road and we said our gdbyes. dad and me headed home and heere i am blogging the moment i got back.

alritey thens. today was quite fun! Guess that's all..

Gd nite world! =)

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Song of the Week for me!

Beyonce - If i were a boy.

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wated
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.

I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I could turn off my phone
Tell everyone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

(Chorus)
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

(Chorus)
But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy. OK peeps! Whoever is reading u must be thinking WTF? is this a gal's blog? Well the ans is No. Sorry to dissapoint lol! Nawh.

Ok so just changed the blog skin. JUST. so this is the first post which compliments it. And yea, i feel it's a litle feminine.. well.. kinda like the Masquerade Getup theme. So here it is. Uh.. Seeing that it's late now and it's practically 3 am in the morning, and in about say ugh.. in 10 hrs time or so i'm going for 3 straight FTT E-trial Tests before going for the real one after them. Phew~! sounds tiring just talking and thinking about it.

I'm just gonna make this a short one. =)

These few days have been considered quite gd to me. Feeling a little better and at least i'm a little cheerful at times. Haha guess i have to thank SM Moar Xiang Jiang Bai de Moar Jintia aka. Yu xiang and the group. haha. They really make my day at school. Everyday in sch is just like me going to rehab and having a ball of a time! The classroom is filled with laughter and loud conversations here and there. And well, the laughter is mostly Yu xiang's! then it spreads on to the rest of us. haha. Guess i can truly laugh when i'm with them. Dont really need to pretend or force myself to. haha. Thx ar! you all are Tua AH BAIS!!! Jian Qiang ah!

Now even if i'm alone, atleast i have something to think of to cheer me up. Atleast i'm not emo-ing 24/7 like i used to. Guess it's a start.

But even so, i dont think i can put the past behind me within such a short time. After all, alot has happened. Financially, emotionally and physically. After feeling lost for so long, i'm just getting my bearings right again.

Guess Nurul was right, i have to change my thinking. Instead of hoping for a fairy tail ending with someone i like and thinking of ways to spoil her silly and treat her right, i should just focus on the important matters at hand.. like say.. Financially and physically. =/

Day dreaming about being romanticly invovled wont get me anywhere.. after all this is the real world and not like what you hear in stories or see on Tv.

Hmm.. are there fairy tail endings in this world? Guess not.. haha.

ok i'm gonna go off now. Havent studied for my FTT yet! DIE! was so caught up in the FYP! nOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And just to clear up something..

I may seem really childish at times, probably because i didn't have much of a childhood due to something that happened.. but just you knw, it's childish but not unreasonable.. =) there's always room for understanding. If you just take the time to.

ok so off to quickly pick a random skin for frenster and flip through the book then i'm off to bed.

if there was a soulmate for me, where is she? i would spoil her silly and listen to her.. well.. i guess i should stop..

Gd nites World! :)

Thursday, November 13, 2008

CY, 你说的没錯. 这世界没有天长地久.

好像人生的幸福/爱

当你失去了人生的幸福, 你会觉得很伤心. 好像你心里有一种部分已经死了. 这种感觉会让你失去爱的能力.

我不想这种下去, 如果我没有改变自己那我活在这世界也没有意义.

我祝福你们.

请放心, 这次我会把我对妳的爱给忘了. 我 叶仁和 不会在等你了. The sun never fails to shine even after a stormy weather.

After learning about a few things, i'm a little saddened but relieved.

But after all that, comes something else.

dude, i'm nt dreaming anymore.

i wish to have"it" back. =)

Afterall, A leopard nvr changes it's spots.

Just like how some rules cant be broken.

It was foolish.. But all is good now. =) today i watched madagascar 2. i'm sure i spelt that wrongly.. oh brother...

haha.. guess in the end i just had to watch it even though i didnt see 1. lol. it was funny and lame at times.. not going to say much.. but just watch it to find out. =) i cried throughout the whole movie though.. lol! well ok nt all the way.. just most of it. Not gonna say why. guess i'm just too sentimental. lol.. or just MENTAL. WOOOWT WOOWT!

haha.. kz i'm just gonna take my baby out for awhile. shall end here. haha.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

你们好! 我回来了! 好久不见!

did you think you saw something wrong? lol..

没有! lol! JIANG BAI! lol! (SM's Language.)

just kidding! haha.. phew took me some time to find and copy + paste. Just gonna go old skool on this post.

on the 10th.. i did something i never thought i'd ever do.. i plucked up my courage to tell a special gal fren how much i liked her. tried to get her on the phone but she was busy and i left her a sms telling her i wanted to talk to her later on in the nite. she replied a little late and said ok but i had to wait.. and i said i'll wait..

few hours passed and then she sent me a sms and i called.. on the phone she was talking so happily about wat she did that day and she moved on to a different topic with a "my mommy sure scold me cause i go out late." haha..

we chatted awhile till she gt home and she asked me if she could bath. The way she said it, was the way she always makes me unable to say no.. because it always melts my heart. i cant explain why, or how.. it just is.. just like the way how i fell for her all over again. =( I thought i put her behind and at present as a good fren.. but seeing hw her ex treated her when they were together always made me boil inside and made me want to reach out to her to comfort her.. but in the end i just couldnt.. and all i did was be mean to her all the while. trying nt to fall for her so hard. at first it seemed to work.. but in the end.. after a few yrs.. the feelings just returned.. perhaps its cause of the times we spent together recently.. i felt closer to her.. but in the end, it was just wishful thinking on my part. i thought i could finally tell her hw i felt about her and perhaps be able to be together with her, giving her the care and concern she deserves.. but it's all in past now.

As she left to take a bath.. i didnt get to tell her exactly how i felt on the phone.. i wanted to tell her to give me a few mins to talk.. but after all that waiting.. my courage just left me.. when she put down the phone.. i felt really angry with myself and pushed myself to sms her.. i sent her 3 long smses to tell her hw i felt and asking for a chance.. perhaps because of hw nervous i was.. i nvr got to tell her alot of other things.. but it doesnt change much even if i did i guess.. haha.. beacuse whatever i've done or said before.. she doesnt really remember it was me.. she only remembers hearing someone saying it.. and whenever it happens i just feel a little hurt.. like i was invisible and even if i was spending a great time with her today, she might just forget who she spent it with a few days later.. =( i remember when u held my hand tightly when we were watching a scarey movie. It made my heart feel warm and i didnt feel like letting go..

the next morning around 10.50am i received a message from her.. a message telling me she's sorry and let's just be frens.. and that she just got together with someone.. perhaps it was the way i typed the smses or i was really too late..
i was sad.. but i replied her a few mins aft recieving the sms. Accepting her friendship. I guess it really is better than losing her totally.. =)

i really didnt mean to fall for you.. but i just did.. i know that i cant do anything much. But i will keep to being that shoulder fren. if you need a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear to just hear you talk.. i'll be there.

And just like always.. From the bottom of my heart. I really wish for you to be happy and i hope u'll be happy with him! =)

i'm doing too much of these.. it hurts so badly when you have to see the one you love get together with someone else and really wishing that they'll be happy.. but if it's for the best.. then i have to step up and see it through.. =/