Monday, August 27, 2007

well we just had a tiff just nw. u probably wont remember it or maybe again u would. just wanna say hopefully u would make good on ur words. i did what i did for a few reasons. but most importantly i hope u have found ur resolve. u were rite only abt 1 thing. u werent arnd much and even if u did we didnt really get to bond much. =) so u would never understand me. it's nt because i'm pessimistic but let's nt get into the details. perhaps u would nvr read this. but i thought i should just type it out. better my gadgets then ppl anyways heh. even if i did type out the reason it would be pointless. let's just say my life is like that and it has molded me into this figure which u think u knw. anyways even u've misunderstood me. well all i can say is everyone doesn't get my point. u talked abt understanding ppl but have u ever seen what i have done beefore? guess not. maybe cause i'm gd at covering up alot of things i've done. my fate? i'm fated to be a grumpy old man all by himself. but then again i might nt make it all the way. but i guess u wouldnt knw either. =)

just wanna say i want the best for u. even if it means u might end up nvr talking to me again or even hate me for what i've done. as long as u change. it's all worth it. i can say alot of ppl dun like me or even hate me. 1 more wouldnt make a diff to my life. even it's u. because i'm on the verge of giving up on life itself. just wanna make sure u can take care of urself cause i dunno if i would be around anymore. probably 1 day u might understand what i've done. and again maybe not. but i hope it does help u open ur eyes.

now i understand why nana gave u ur name.. haha.. it's because u want to love and be loved. it's really u. because u represent love. the name does suit u. nana was rite to give u ur name.. haha. she was always so perfect to me. i nvr once thought nana was wrong. well there's things u shld knw abt urself. which i hope u would change.. ur fickle minded.. haha.. yea str to the point. must make sure u really want to do it before saying it out. haha. words are really empty.. they dun carry as much weight as actions. guess u learnt it by nw but i shld just leave it as a reminder.. dun always give in to the 1 u love. cause it doesnt help at all, just makes it even worse when it's time for confrontation. smokings bad for health. u shld stop. u say u dun bottle up ur feeligns anymore so i hope that's changed already as well. as well as ur uptightness. haha. well it isn't really that wrong to be uptight u knw? in this world ppl play different roles. if u took a careful look, u'd see. some ppl just have to be the way they. it might affect ppl in either a good or bad way. we cant control everything u knw? just like hw u cant really control ur temper when ur angry. the role i play, i dun really need to say.

and u said if i were u, i'd do the same as u rite nw. truthfully i would have to say yes. but my job rite nw is just to help u see some of the mistakes ur making terribly. cause if i were in ur shoes and u were in mine, i'd say u'd do the same as me. so it's just a matter of what happens to who and who does what to help. just hope what i've done has helped u in a way. i may be lonely for the rest of my life, but i wouldnt nvr ever want the same for u.
so here i am rite nw hoping u'd change and be someone really great nxt time yea? =)

u might hate me,
u might nt talk to me the same way,
but i just want to say..
i love u sis. =)
guess this is all i can do for u.
& yes i'm pretty much fucked up already. but this is me =)